*sigh* I seem to be a bit of a wanderer these days. I've moved back to Texas and am planning to stay this time. California had it's own beauty but it never really lived up to my beloved tree covered, rain drenched Texas. Besides, there were many pagan and herbal shops there already. Those people had no need of me. I know that here in Beaumont there are many pagans who have to travel great distances for any metaphysical/herbal shops. *smile* I would rather be here where I am needed. I will try to be online more. I miss all of you so much! *hugs* Goddess Blessings, my loves.
I have yet to find a good job here in cali...there just isn't anything available it seems. So here is my plan: I'm going to start my shop. It will be small at first, strictly a web-based/mail order capacity but I think I can do it. I've studied enough that I can make a few herbal things, not remedies yet, but I'd be ok with incenses and oils and the like. I can make robes, ren fair garb, ritual clothing, and maybe even kilts. Then there are the neater things like beeswax candles, painted statuary/goddess art and that sort of thing. It won't be much at first, but it is a beginning. I've put it off long enough. The Celts believed that time didn't matter, that everything is the present and your mind should be focused on that. Therefore...it's time to start living my dream. Wish me luck and those of you who are interested, look me up sometime and possibly be my first customers. I love you all.
Though I have still not met any fellow pagans hereabouts, I am beginning to be happy in my new home. California still feels foreign, but I have been doing my best to meet and be at peace with the spirit of this land. I was ecstatic to find that there is a small pagan shop only 4 blocks from the apartment I live in and I plan to visit it as often as possible in the hopes of making new friends. It's still hard. I miss my texas friends and the places that I took for granted being able to visit everyday. Nonetheless, I refuse to give up hope. I know that I have a purpose for being here and that things will be alright in the end. The spiral will turn and the hardship will once again become happiness...the endless cycle will move on and I will be fine. I want to thank all of my kind friends here at covenspace for your warm words of comfort. You are truly all gifts from the Goddess herself. *hugs you all* And as I have said before, should any of you live near me here in sunny San Jose, California, let me know. We can go and visit the Rose Garden or the amazing Egyptian museum I've descovered and other such happy pursuits of friendship. I greatly miss whiling away hours with someone of like mind to talk and laugh with. I love my boyfriend very much, but he is a man and cannot share the same friendship as another woman might. His friendship is much different, just as wonderful, but different. *sigh* I hope this finds everyone well and that the Goddess continues to walk within and beside you all. Gaia's blessings, my loves.
I admit that I never had many female friends but this sudden lack of any at all is bringing me down worse than I thought it could. Here I sit in sunny California...an invading Texas foreigner to the locals and I find myself wishing I knew someone other than my boyfriend and his roommate. Granted, I knew before I moved that things would be hard and strange at first, but it really never crossed my mind how lonely one female crafter could get when surrounded only by men. I miss the girl talks, the inside jokes, the witchy nights where we got together and experimented with different cookie or incense recipes. *sigh* I'd almost move back to Texas just to have that again...in the meantime, let's all hope I don't drown.
Yeppers. The Rose will be moving from Texas to California within the next week. It's big news for me and an enormous leap of faith. I've felt pulled there for a long time, but I always tried to ignore it. Now there are 2 or 3 reasons to add to the feeling...so i'm convinced it's time. I admit that it's a little scary. I've gotten braver, but the world still seems like such a big, hateful place. So now I'm not just stepping, but diving out of my safe zone and beginning a radically new life. Oh Gaia...this is gonna be crazy.
